Spirituality

Letting kids feel their feelings

“Don’t be nervous. Miss isn’t nervous, is she?”

This is the exact sentence I heard from a teacher to students who were about to start filming. I am not sure about the details, but they would be asked to give their thoughts on something in front of a camera.

Don’t be nervous? DON’T BE NERVOUS??

Yes, be nervous! Just don’t let it stop you from doing what you want.

Yes, be nervous! Just do it anyway.

No wonder kids are being diagnosed with ‘anxiety disorders’.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that for some people it is an actual problem that needs to be medicated. Debilitating anxiety and panic attacks are nothing to dismiss.

But for many, it is simply a lack of understanding of their emotions.

Nerves are good, it means that something is important to you. It means that you want to do well. It means that you care.

This false idea that they shouldn’t be nervous makes kids believe that their feelings are wrong, or that they are wrong for having them, and nothing could be further from the truth.

Emotions are an important part of this human experience. Without them we only get one side of the experience.

If we start ignoring our nerves, it isn’t long before we start to suppress all of our emotions, and, speaking from experience, that never ends well.

We should honour and acknowledge how kids are feeling and give them the skills to move past the less than desirable emotions and do what they need to anyway. Feelings aren’t bad, and we need to stop telling kids what they should be feeling and start working with what they are feeling.

The emotions will come out somewhere and somehow. Perhaps naming them and acknowledging them when they hit will prevent them overflowing and coming out as aggression or depression or one of the many other emotions that are destructive in excess.

Allow kids to be nervous and give them the tools to get the job done anyway.

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Current Issues

Overcoming Rape-Culture, Victim Blaming and the Patriarchy

Yet again, a woman gets raped and murdered and it’s her fault.

Just a few weeks ago, 22 year old Eurydice Dixon was walking home when she was attacked and raped and murdered. She took all of the precautions, messaging her friends letting them know she was almost home safe.

This is the thing that gets me. She took all of the precautions.

Why should she have to take any precautions? Why was it her fault she got raped and murdered and not the fault of the man who did the raping and murdering?

Why should we have to make sure we are in groups or have rape whistles or be on our phones or even wear security underwear? Or worse, like the women in South Africa who have to wear anti-rape gear and equip their daughters from as young as ten.

And this isn’t the first time women have been told to be careful.

A recent article warned women to go out in groups as sexual assaults had risen on Queensland’s Gold Coast.

A few years ago in Far North Queensland a young girl was raped by her two friends, but they were acquitted because she was drinking with them and must have asked for it. This from a female judge too!! Just shows how far victim blaming has spread.

Again, if we took better precautions this wouldn’t happen.

Pfft. It’s patriarchal bullshit directed at us so they don’t have to feel bad about doing all the raping in the first place. It’s childish bullshit akin to ‘but he hit me first!’

This whole world is run by boys in men’s bodies and it’s total bullshit.

A man hitting a woman is like a sibling hitting them and yelling ‘she started it!’

Incels crying because they can’t get laid is like a toddler having a tantrum because Mummy took away his favourite toy.

Childish bullshit.

No wonder the world is in the state it’s in. It’s like the global version of Lord of the Flies – or maybe this was the point the author was trying to make? We actually have children running the world and screwing it up.

But, to get back on track, if men didn’t do these things, women wouldn’t be getting hurt.

This is kind of a given, although a lot of men still can’t bring themselves to think this way. They don’t want to ‘dob on a mate’, activity I see all the time in High School.

Which brings me to the ‘not all men’ argument.

Yes, it’s true that not all men rape, abuse and murder women.

But not all men would stand up against the abuser and tell him to stop.

Not all men would go against their mates and tell them it’s not ok to have sex with that unconscious girl at a party.

Not all men would ‘dob on a mate’ if they saw or heard them doing it.

Men need to stand up and be vocal too. Tell your mate his behaviour isn’t acceptable. Stand up for your sister or mother or cousin or aunty or friend. You have the power to make the change. We all do, if we all stand up and say it’s not ok.

We all need to stand up and change the culture, but the reality is men care more about what their mates think than the general population. They are subject to peer pressure just like the rest of us, even if we don’t want to admit it.

Please, for the sake of the women in your life, be that mate that says it’s not ok. Be that mate that teaches him what he should do. Be that mate that helps him be a better person and avoid going to jail (the very small percentage that do actually make it there and not through some bullshit legal loophole or some judge’s prejudice, but that’s another story).

Bad things happen when good people stand by and do nothing.

Are you that good person?

Spirituality

Thoughts on Life

This week has been a hectic and emotional week. My Mother and I helped my Grandparents move from a town 3 hours away, to one 45 minutes from me.

This is something my Nan has wanted for almost a decade, if not longer. For one reason or another, my Pop always refused. She has essentially spent the last 10 years miserable, living in a town she loathed.

This week, she got her wish, except she wasn’t able to enjoy it like she should have.

Early this year she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

As these thins go, it escalated quickly to the point now where she is repeating the same two stories without pause. I could go into the ways in which it is manifesting, but most of us have seen it at least once or heard stories.

The part of all of this that gets me, is that she was so completely lost and stressed throughout the entire move she couldn’t relax and get excited. When I asked her if she was excited her reply was “I would be if I knew where we were going”.

On the day, she was restless and irritable, argumentative and emotional. It was like watching a toddler getting ready for daycare.

She put her good rings away somewhere, didn’t tell anyone else, forgot where they were and became fixated on finding them. We managed to reassure her that if we couldn’t see them, they were packed somewhere and she calmed for a few minutes, before ‘remembering’ and the whole process would start again. Eventually she found them and relaxed a little, but then it was something else.

My point is, I wish for her that she had have done this years ago when she was lucid enough to not only understand what was happening, but enjoy the process and get as excited as Mum and I were.

Selfishly, I wish that it had happened when I was able to truly enjoy her company like I used to as a kid. We could watch movies and snuggle in the lounge. Go to Bingo or Housie or Alphie and she’d drive and play the pokies and give me half of her winnings. Drink cup after cup of tea or coffee and she’d tell me stories about her youth and the family. She’d cook me dinner and I’d feel like I was the most important person in the world.

Now, I don’t know what it is going to look like. I am lucky she still remembers who I am, and if you tell her a few times, she remembers what is going on around her.

Anyway, the point of this is, don’t put things off.

Do them today.

It is a cliche, but it is probably one of the few that shouldn’t be.

Don’t put off til tomorrow what you could do today.

Write that book. Climb that mountain. Run that marathon. Tell him you love him. Hug your kids. Go on that holiday. Get married. Watch the sunset over the Indian Ocean.

Whatever it is, just do it.

And enjoy it while you can.

Find the happiness and fun in every moment, that spoonful of sugar. Don’t go to bed angry. Use your energy for happiness and love, not hate. Be kind, to yourself and others. Be happy now.

You don’t know how many tomorrows you have.

And apparently, you don’t have to die for your time to be up.

Veganism

The consequences of seeking approval from others

I never wanted to actually be an activist. It wasn’t something that spoke to me on a deep level.

I tried though. Convinced by another’s arguments and my own need for approval surfacing, I tried.

I went to a Cube of Truth, although in truth it was a bit of a shambles because they decided at the last minute to move it to a location closer to the CBD. I had been riding my bike all morning and wasn’t keen on the extra ride, so I went home, not getting to see it in its full glory.

I was able to stay for the discussion and role play, which was informative and confidence boosting. Still, I was really only there to see how it all works, see it in action, dip my toes in before I took the whole dive. I’m cautious like that. Sometimes…

The whole time I was there, it felt wrong, I felt wrong. I felt like an imposter, like a sheep in wolves clothing. It didn’t feel ‘mine’.

Please don’t mistake me, it’s not that I had to be the one to ‘find’ it. I’m not that shallow. But when you are with your tribe you feel it in your bones. Your heart sings with happiness and you look around and you ‘see’ all of the people there. You belong. It feels ‘mine’.

I can’t say I ‘saw’ anyone, not even the ‘friends’ I was there with. I felt alone, out of place.

Still, I thought I could do some stuff behind the scenes. Help raise some funds for the group so they could get more gear, etc. Give back that way.

So, I offered to organise a fundraiser in the form of a psychic and well-being fair. The last fundraiser I had been a part of raised $3000+ for the cause, I thought the Cube could have used a similar amount to buy resources for their events and maybe even have a stall and a talk on the day to raise awareness… apparently not…

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that I realised what was going on.

I have said earlier that I had allowed other people to dictate to me how to ‘do friendships’ and it left me hurt and disappointed. Without going into too much detail, it was this friend who had convinced me that I should be an activist.

It seems I looked at my choice not to be an activist as wrong, and made changes accordingly.

I allowed myself to be drawn into a world that I knew I didn’t belong for the wrong reasons: an attempt to be fully accepted by this friend. I let my need for approval control my choices (as I said before also, I had moved past this) and I changed who I was to fit someone else’s ideal.

I am not an activist.

I am a teacher. I am a healer. I am a psychic and (budding) medium. My passion is to help people clear their blocks, become more conscious of the patterns that are holding them back and help them move forward. This is who I am. This the life I am working towards.

It’s OK that I don’t want to be a public activist. It’s not who I am. I might still do stuff behind the scenes, and even find a way to hold an event fundraiser for another cause who will welcome the donation.

But, public activism doesn’t make my heart sing. I am probably more passionate about reversing all of the damage the patriarchy has caused so women can be totally free and safe in the world. So men can own their own natures and not feel inadequate when they don’t meet the standards of masculinity put forward by the patriarchy. So all people in the world can just be themselves. Totally and completely.

My other passion is showing people how bad animal products are for your health. Giving them the facts about nutrition and educating them on how the body works so they can see for themselves the harm certain foods do to their body. This might be a hobby or sideline gig though.

Anyone telling me that it isn’t OK to be who I am, for whatever reason, is putting conditions on their love and I don’t need that. I love myself too much now to be bound by others’ rigid guidelines of acceptance and approval. I will not jump through hoops so people will like me. I’ll just find another circus!

I totally honour and even agree with her reasoning as to why we should all be activists. However, honouring myself is more important.

I never want to feel like an impostor again.

Blessed Be! xx

 

Spirituality

Manifestation Magic: Part 2

This is an extension of my thoughts from Part 1, although not titled as such. I always knew there would be more. Considering what I am currently learning about manifestation, there will probably be a part 3!

In my previous post I spoke about the negative impacts of manifestation and how they can impact our lives just as much (if not more than) the positive. I am also happy to say that I am still manifesting like a magician, sometimes within 30 minutes. A short anecdote to this effect.

I was recently on a trip through Cambodia. I was with a tour group and totally excited to meet everyone. While getting ready for the meet-n-greet I had a thought – “I wish I had brought one of my smaller shoulder bags, just to carry my personals in. This backpack is going to get tiresome pretty quick! Oh well, I’m not buying another one so I’ll have to make do.” Then BAM! At the meet-n-greet the tour guide gives us all shoulder bags made by locals with traditional tartans on them! So amazing.

Ok, so now onto the deeper stuff… although that story perfectly illustrates my main point for this post. Synchronicity!!

I have recently come to the realisation that there are also another two sides to manifestation. Not only is there the positive/negative aspect of manifesting, but there is the giving/receiving aspect.

I’ll explain.

When we ask for something, say a shoulder bag, a new lounge or a new job, something has to happen. Things just don’t fall out of the sky. Someone has to actually give you these things.

My tour guide had to actually organise for the bags to be made and then bring them to the meeting. Someone had to say ‘I know someone who has a lounge they want to get rid of!’ Someone has to actually offer you the job, and maybe even lose theirs to make way for you!

An exchange takes place in all instances.

This then naturally flows into our own part in manifestation. Sometimes we have to give something to someone else. If we don’t do the giving, then manifestation doesn’t happen as quickly, if at all!

Another anecdote: one day I was walking home from the shops, grocery bag full of a few essential items. I can’t remember what exactly, but bread rolls was part of it. Maybe I was making burgers or something. Anyway, I came across a man who I assumed to be homeless. I had the strong urge to give him a couple of my bread rolls. I had 6, and only 4 patties (yes, I was making burgers, I remember now!) so I could in reality spare 2. However, I argued with myself over this urge – what if he isn’t actually homeless? What if I insult him with the offer? How can I assume anything? – and didn’t give the man the rolls. It would have been easily done, ‘hey mate, how are you? Are you hungry? Here have some rolls!’ Or conversely, ‘oh, you’re not homeless? I apologise, but I got this urge to give you some rolls. Would you like some anyway?’ The only thing that would have been hurt was my ego, which is probably why my ego talked me out of it.

In this scenario, to get us back to my part in manifestation, what if that man had asked the universe for some rolls? Or maybe food in general? What if my urge to give him the rolls was manifestation at work and I rationalised my way out of it? What if I was the person who was supposed to give him the rolls like the tour guide gave me the bag?

My point here is, that in manifestation there is always a giver and a receiver. Things don’t just fall out of think air, they don’t just appear. Someone always has to give you something or do something in order for manifestation to work – something I remember vaguely about the law of opposites or polarity or some such…

 

So, the next time you get an urge to do something for someone or give them something, just know this may be your part in the manifestation process and do it! I know I will! 😀

Veganism

The problem with labels and judgements

This is probably going to be a little bit ‘rant-y’. You have been warned…

Yet again I have been disappointed by the vegan community.

Apparently, eating ethically sourced, local honey, but only when you are sick, isn’t ‘vegan enough’. Apparently, eating eggs your own backyard chickens laid isn’t ‘vegan enough’.

I’ve been attacked and ridiculed before for not being vegan, this is not new to me. I rode a horse up the Andes (which was freaking amazing btw), but that’s not vegan. My choice to not be an activist didn’t make me ‘vegan enough’. Now, the honey thing.

I’ve also seen others being attacked for their choices and it’s not fair.

It’s judgemental and intolerant bullshit and it needs to stop.

It’s at the point now where I don’t want to be associated with veganism at all, thinking of even changing the name of the blog. Maybe something like ‘plant-based Mystic’ or ‘cruelty-free Witch’. Maybe ‘And harm none’ as a nod to the rede.

I went so far as to want to eat a Big Mac as a giant ‘Fuck you!’ to the vegan community. I didn’t, because of the animals, my own health and the simple fact I made a commitment, but when you are ready to go against everything you stand for, your core values, everything that makes you you, you know it’s serious.

The thing is, I’ve spent my entire life not being ‘enough’. Not smart enough, or pretty enough, or thin enough, quiet enough, interesting enough, not experienced enough… the list goes on.

I’ve made a resolution in my 30s to steer clear of anyone telling me I’m not enough, because I am, by the Goddess! My basic existence tells me I am enough. The fact that I think and breathe and try to be kind, tells me I’m enough. And I’ll be damned if I am going to let anyone tell me I’m not enough any more.

If that means not associating with or as a vegan, then so be it. I’ll find another label for myself and go that way.

Or just stop using them.

The other thing that annoyed me was someone’s argument that other people’s choices to adjust the term in practice makes their lives harder. Well, guess what? That’s your problem! Not mine. I am honouring myself, just like you are honouring yourself. Don’t you think that you being an intolerant arsehole makes my life harder? No one seems to think of it that way do they?

On a more practical note, the other argument was ‘When I have to explain to people that I don’t eat honey when other vegans do is inconvenient’. Well, I don’t know what restaurants you are going to, but unless they are 100% dedicated vegan restaurants, everyone has to explain themselves! I think this person was just pissed that other people aren’t ‘doing it right’. And coming from someone who used to be concerned with ‘doing it right’, it is exhausting and a waste of time. My advice? Stop, before the stress kills you…

I just wish people would be less concerned with right and wrong and just embrace those people who are trying. Accept those people who are educated enough to want to make the change and dedicated enough to risk living ‘without cheese’ or ‘bacon though’ for the good of the animals, themselves and the planet. Why can’t we just spend more one educating those people who are still unaware, and less time bickering among ourselves and judging our own for our eccentricities.

I have made an educated choice to consume honey, based on medical and scientific studies. I have also chosen to do my own research and find ethical, sustainable and cruelty-free sources of the product. If this effort and thought doesn’t make me vegan, if it’s not enough to fit into the club, then so be it. I’m done with trying to live up to the expectations of others and too old to care what you think of me.

Rant over. 💖😇🕉

Blessed Be! xx

Spirituality

Honour your Shadow

Soul Doctor podcast strikes again!

I was listening to episode 1 of season 2 today and yet again, the messages where synchronistic for what I have already been thinking.

For years I have been reading positive affirmations online and hearing people say how they work for them.

Over the last few years I have had a different feeling about them.

I had come to agree with some other authors of various works that focussing on positivity too much redirects your attention away from the negative, in effect preventing us from truly dealing with it. We have triggers, programs and patterns for a reason, and they come up to be healed. Also, it prevents us truly knowing ourselves and loving ourselves unconditionally.

If we always redirect from the unpleasant emotions, we aren’t really releasing them. They are merely suppressed until they come out another way, through illness and dis-ease.

We have to honour our anger, sadness, grief, shame and all the other unpleasant emotions. We have to feel them to release them and truly move forward. We have to go through it, we can’t ignore it or cut it away and simply move on.

There is a lot to learn in our pain, especially about our own actions that lead to it. If we never face our crap, we can never heal it properly and will be destined to repeat the same patterns over and over again.

We cannot ignore our shadow, for it is our greatest teacher.

Current Issues

Do women need to be ‘whores’ to enjoy sex?

I started reading a book called ‘Finding God Through Sex’, by David Deida, ‘one of the world’s most insightful and provocative teachers of our time’, so the blurb at the back says. I have had issues in the area of sexual fulfilment myself, being influenced by the Christian society I live in (but am not necessarily a part of) and having what I would describe as guilt associated with sexual pleasure, whether with myself or a partner in whom I trust and love.

I had hoped that this book would help me to discover the divine in this area of my life and help me to embrace my sexuality more. I had hoped to gain more insight as to how I could honour my own divinity through sex. I had also thought it might help me to overcome some of my own negative emotions regarding sexual enjoyment.

I won’t say it has done nothing for me: I now understand that it is possible to become aware of the divine through sexual expression and enjoyment. In fact, it seems it is one of the best ways to commune with the divine and infinite love. I will be more aware of certain things I do in my future love making and see how it brings me closer to the divine and my own, and my partner’s, inherent divinity.

What I wasn’t prepared for were the several references to ‘whore’ he made throughout the book.

You can be a whore, making him beg for more. (Page 120*)

The offending passage...

This is just one example of the many references in the book.

My immediate thought was – why do you have to be a whore to know what you’re doing in bed? I haven’t had that many sexual partners in my life, but I would not consider myself bad in bed and I haven’t had any complaints. In fact, having an honest, exploratory, trusting, open and communicative relationship with one partner did more for my experience than the few randoms ever did.

Why can’t a mother, maiden or Goddess leave her partner feeling this way? And why is this term used in reference to a sexually experienced woman? Why can’t she just be a woman?

Also, why do you have to be a whore to make him beg for more? Why couldn’t you do this with the only person you ever slept with, if you know them deeply and understand what turns them on? I would much rather be ‘inexperienced’ and have my partner chomping at the bit, than have slept with a thousand guys to the same end. The point here is, the number of partners you’ve had doesn’t even matter…

Now I think about it, why has he not mentioned this term in relation to the men? Why is it that only women are referred to as whores? Most of the men I know have had many more partners than I have, why don’t they get called whores? Why is their ‘experience’ not making them more accountable for our pleasure?

Another ‘offending comment’ was the following:

You can be a demoness, tearing him apart.*

Again, another derogatory term in reference to a sexually promiscuous woman. Why do I have to be possessed by a demon to enjoy sex with my partner? Can’t I be a Goddess (Aphrodite?), or a mother, or a nerd, or (Gods forbid!) myself!! Why can’t it be the power of God/Goddess that moves me to such extreme excitement that I want to tear my lover limb from limb? Why can’t it be the power of the divine and my own love that gets me to such an extreme and pleasurable emotion? Why can’t it be my love of life and all it has to offer? Or simply the fact that our emotion centre is close to our aggression centre in the brain and the two often overlap… (first year Psych, coming in handy!!)

The answer is simple – the patriarchy.

Please, don’t get this confused with ‘men’, for men have been just as hurt and emasculated by the expectations of the patriarchy, as I have mentioned before . The patriarchy is essentially a certain group of men (usually white men) telling everyone else what to do, wear, be etc out of a misguided need for power. This has lead to many issues throughout the last 5000 years, including the oppression and subjugation of women, children and most racial groups. And, it has lead to the pervading rape culture and recent development of ‘incels’ who believe they are entitled to sex (Google it, it’s a thing…).

It is also the reason why women are labelled ‘whores’ if they are sexually active, experienced and enjoy sex. Why we have to be ‘demons’ in order to feel the strong sexual energy that most men feel on a daily basis is beyond me. I guess it goes back to the ‘Adam and Eve’ thing and the resultant repression of female sexuality. Why do women have to live up to certain archetypes in the first place?

Do we need to reclaim the term ‘whore’ like some racial groups have reclaimed their derogatory terms? I don’t think so, because I dislike this appropriation in all its forms. The intent of the use might be different, but it’s hard to erase 2000+ years of energy, no matter how well meaning you are. The negativity is built into the words, permeates them. This is not the answer.

For me, the answer is to stop using them all together. Not out of fun with our friends. Not in reference to women we don’t know. Not to women who dress a certain way. Not for anyone. Ever.

We also need to reclaim our sexuality. Make people (yes people, women are included in this as many of us seem to be as confused as the rest of the world) aware that women are sexual beings and that it is ok to explore your sexuality. It is ok to try new things and express this side of ourselves. We can be the goddess in the bedroom and it’s ok!

Also, we need to educate people on the true purpose of sex. Many people are having sex for the wrong reasons – myself included for a very long time. Sex is often seen as a way to be accepted and approved of by, not only the people they are sleeping with, but society as a whole. Men and women are using sex to achieve a state of belonging and love that in reality can only be found from within oneself. Again, I speak from experience.

I see this happening with teenagers at schools I teach in, girls who brag about sleeping with X amount of boys at a party and think this is cool. Teenage girls walking around asking the boys how big their dicks are. They get short term approval from the guys, but it never lasts and people need to be aware of this.

Maybe this last will be addressed in a separate post, as this has turned out to be a much deeper issue than I had first thought. The issues of derogatory terms, warping of sexual attitudes and the rule of the patriarchy are becoming more and more important to me. I have been affected and hurt by the all of these things in my life and I have a desire to educate people so they don’t have to be hurt by them either.

We have so much to unlearn about sex and sexuality, but we can do it. One comment at a time.

 

Spiritual Awakening

When the Healing meets the Broken

This is going to be a very personal post.

I have had another interesting start to the year.

I know it’s May, but I have needed this time to process what has been happening and what my own actions were in creating this situation.

It’s not about blame, simply learning from mistakes and understanding when old programs resurface.

I met a new friend late last year, a fellow vegan, and we just clicked. We were both HSIE teachers too, which was a common interest and passion for us – although I am a History teacher and she is Geography, we complimented each other as the two subjects naturally do.

I was in a great place, relying solely on me for my happiness. This was a place I had worked towards for almost 2 years.

I didn’t need anyone in my life, I simply wanted them around sometimes.

During one afternoon, I happened to mention that it takes me a lot to get close to people, because of being hurt before. Her response to this was ‘I had noticed you were hot and cold’.

Now, I had simply shared this part of myself in an attempt to be honest and open about who I am. I am naturally cautious now, but that doesn’t mean I am not willing to let anyone in. I am just more discerning with who gets to be close to me on a very personal level.

I had not thought I was ‘hot and cold’ either. I was happy in my own life, I was not ‘attached’ to her and our friendship as I had been with previous friendships: I had finally learned that only I could make myself happy, no one else can. I had learned the difference between ‘attachment’ and ‘friendship’.

Still, I took her words to heart and in the blink of an eye I had judged my approach to this friendship as ‘wrong’. I had undone in an instant what I had worked so hard for so long to create.

As the old saying goes, hindsight is a beautiful thing. I can see it clearly now, even though I did not make an actual decision to change my approach at the time. I reacted out of a subconscious need to be accepted and approved of by another. My old acceptance pattern was hibernating when I thought it was dead.

I started to view my whole life as ‘wrong’. I started to question other decisions I had made, including my choice not to be fully active in the vegan world. I even tried to teach like her! (This last one worked well luckily, considering I have a completely different clientele in my classrooms, and is a strategy I will add to my tool belt) I started to see my own approach to teaching as wrong and tried to be more ‘like her’ in a number of ways.

It wasn’t until I refused to accept responsibility for something that she saw as a wrong I had committed that I saw what was actually happening.

She had approached the friendship from a place of attachment. She needed something from me that I wasn’t willing to give until I accepted her judgement of me and became attached myself.

I was whole and at peace with who I am. I was able to spend time alone and be happy. I was acknowledging that I am broken and working towards fixing it.

She was none of those things. In a subconscious attempt to feel better about herself, she tried to bring me down to her level, rather than working up towards mine. And for a while she succeeded.

It was a valuable lesson in honouring myself and who (and where) I am. A lesson in doing things my way and living life on my terms. A lesson in the need to get what I need from myself first. A lesson in the impacts of judgement and accepting that of others when they do not know my full story. It was also a valuable lesson in over-sharing and listening when my intuition says ‘she doesn’t need to know that’. (In actual fact, I think my intuition screamed at that one! But I trusted her…)

For these lessons and the growth I have since experienced, I am grateful and able now to step into the next phase of my life, one that is completely dependent on my ability to live life on my terms, regardless of what other people think.

Spirituality

Book Review: The Naked Witch

I have recently been exploring Witchcraft again in earnest. It is probably the only path that resonates with my soul, that feels right.

Along the way I was reminded of Fiona Horne’s books. I checked the local libraries and found a few stocked her books, including a new autobiography called The Naked Witch. I didn’t really want to learn about her life, more about the practice of witchcraft in an effort to understand the practicalities of it – more on this later.

Still, I found myself compelled to go to the library that afternoon and borrow it. I can’t say I had any thought processes in this. It was just something I had to do. It’s weird when your intuition is so loud you can’t hear your own ego-monkey-mind!

And I am glad I did! Her story resonated with me on such a deep level, I found myself unable to put it down. For the first time in my life I read an entire book in a day! Luckily I had nowhere to be…

Her story so resonated with my own story of abuse on many levels it was uncanny. The resultant patterns and programs were almost identical too! I can’t say how reassuring it was for me to hear someone else went through something similar to me and came out thriving.

There wasn’t much on the actual practice of witchcraft, she has other books for that, but one main truth was made clear to me – at its fundamental level, Witchcraft is about a reverence for and connection to nature. Simple.

I am not going to go too much into the specifics of this book, as I feel it should be read with an open-mind. Also, spoilers! I hate ruining surprises for people…

If you are looking for an easy, yet informative read, then this is a great book. It is the perfect book for highlighting what our egos are capable of making us do, but also that an honest look at ourselves can help us to get out of its grip. It is an excellent book for anyone dealing with childhood trauma, especially for those who (like me) believe that ‘it could have been worse’. And yes, it could have been worse for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean our own pain and resultant negative patterns are any less important. We don’t have to down-play our own pain because someone ‘had it worse’.

This is the story of an average Australian woman just trying to find herself and her place in the world, after being told she doesn’t deserve one. The story of a woman desperately seeking the approval she never got growing up, and the realisations that lead her out of that destructive pattern. It is a story of growth and triumph that will empower you to do the same. It has done for me.