Current Issues

Overcoming Rape-Culture, Victim Blaming and the Patriarchy

Yet again, a woman gets raped and murdered and it’s her fault.

Just a few weeks ago, 22 year old Eurydice Dixon was walking home when she was attacked and raped and murdered. She took all of the precautions, messaging her friends letting them know she was almost home safe.

This is the thing that gets me. She took all of the precautions.

Why should she have to take any precautions? Why was it her fault she got raped and murdered and not the fault of the man who did the raping and murdering?

Why should we have to make sure we are in groups or have rape whistles or be on our phones or even wear security underwear? Or worse, like the women in South Africa who have to wear anti-rape gear and equip their daughters from as young as ten.

And this isn’t the first time women have been told to be careful.

A recent article warned women to go out in groups as sexual assaults had risen on Queensland’s Gold Coast.

A few years ago in Far North Queensland a young girl was raped by her two friends, but they were acquitted because she was drinking with them and must have asked for it. This from a female judge too!! Just shows how far victim blaming has spread.

Again, if we took better precautions this wouldn’t happen.

Pfft. It’s patriarchal bullshit directed at us so they don’t have to feel bad about doing all the raping in the first place. It’s childish bullshit akin to ‘but he hit me first!’

This whole world is run by boys in men’s bodies and it’s total bullshit.

A man hitting a woman is like a sibling hitting them and yelling ‘she started it!’

Incels crying because they can’t get laid is like a toddler having a tantrum because Mummy took away his favourite toy.

Childish bullshit.

No wonder the world is in the state it’s in. It’s like the global version of Lord of the Flies – or maybe this was the point the author was trying to make? We actually have children running the world and screwing it up.

But, to get back on track, if men didn’t do these things, women wouldn’t be getting hurt.

This is kind of a given, although a lot of men still can’t bring themselves to think this way. They don’t want to ‘dob on a mate’, activity I see all the time in High School.

Which brings me to the ‘not all men’ argument.

Yes, it’s true that not all men rape, abuse and murder women.

But not all men would stand up against the abuser and tell him to stop.

Not all men would go against their mates and tell them it’s not ok to have sex with that unconscious girl at a party.

Not all men would ‘dob on a mate’ if they saw or heard them doing it.

Men need to stand up and be vocal too. Tell your mate his behaviour isn’t acceptable. Stand up for your sister or mother or cousin or aunty or friend. You have the power to make the change. We all do, if we all stand up and say it’s not ok.

We all need to stand up and change the culture, but the reality is men care more about what their mates think than the general population. They are subject to peer pressure just like the rest of us, even if we don’t want to admit it.

Please, for the sake of the women in your life, be that mate that says it’s not ok. Be that mate that teaches him what he should do. Be that mate that helps him be a better person and avoid going to jail (the very small percentage that do actually make it there and not through some bullshit legal loophole or some judge’s prejudice, but that’s another story).

Bad things happen when good people stand by and do nothing.

Are you that good person?

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