Letting kids feel their feelings

“Don’t be nervous. Miss isn’t nervous, is she?”

This is the exact sentence I heard from a teacher to students who were about to start filming. I am not sure about the details, but they would be asked to give their thoughts on something in front of a camera.

Don’t be nervous? DON’T BE NERVOUS??

Yes, be nervous! Just don’t let it stop you from doing what you want.

Yes, be nervous! Just do it anyway.

No wonder kids are being diagnosed with ‘anxiety disorders’.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that for some people it is an actual problem that needs to be medicated. Debilitating anxiety and panic attacks are nothing to dismiss.

But for many, it is simply a lack of understanding of their emotions.

Nerves are good, it means that something is important to you. It means that you want to do well. It means that you care.

This false idea that they shouldn’t be nervous makes kids believe that their feelings are wrong, or that they are wrong for having them, and nothing could be further from the truth.

Emotions are an important part of this human experience. Without them we only get one side of the experience.

If we start ignoring our nerves, it isn’t long before we start to suppress all of our emotions, and, speaking from experience, that never ends well.

We should honour and acknowledge how kids are feeling and give them the skills to move past the less than desirable emotions and do what they need to anyway. Feelings aren’t bad, and we need to stop telling kids what they should be feeling and start working with what they are feeling.

The emotions will come out somewhere and somehow. Perhaps naming them and acknowledging them when they hit will prevent them overflowing and coming out as aggression or depression or one of the many other emotions that are destructive in excess.

Allow kids to be nervous and give them the tools to get the job done anyway.


Thoughts on Life

This week has been a hectic and emotional week. My Mother and I helped my Grandparents move from a town 3 hours away, to one 45 minutes from me.

This is something my Nan has wanted for almost a decade, if not longer. For one reason or another, my Pop always refused. She has essentially spent the last 10 years miserable, living in a town she loathed.

This week, she got her wish, except she wasn’t able to enjoy it like she should have.

Early this year she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

As these thins go, it escalated quickly to the point now where she is repeating the same two stories without pause. I could go into the ways in which it is manifesting, but most of us have seen it at least once or heard stories.

The part of all of this that gets me, is that she was so completely lost and stressed throughout the entire move she couldn’t relax and get excited. When I asked her if she was excited her reply was “I would be if I knew where we were going”.

On the day, she was restless and irritable, argumentative and emotional. It was like watching a toddler getting ready for daycare.

She put her good rings away somewhere, didn’t tell anyone else, forgot where they were and became fixated on finding them. We managed to reassure her that if we couldn’t see them, they were packed somewhere and she calmed for a few minutes, before ‘remembering’ and the whole process would start again. Eventually she found them and relaxed a little, but then it was something else.

My point is, I wish for her that she had have done this years ago when she was lucid enough to not only understand what was happening, but enjoy the process and get as excited as Mum and I were.

Selfishly, I wish that it had happened when I was able to truly enjoy her company like I used to as a kid. We could watch movies and snuggle in the lounge. Go to Bingo or Housie or Alphie and she’d drive and play the pokies and give me half of her winnings. Drink cup after cup of tea or coffee and she’d tell me stories about her youth and the family. She’d cook me dinner and I’d feel like I was the most important person in the world.

Now, I don’t know what it is going to look like. I am lucky she still remembers who I am, and if you tell her a few times, she remembers what is going on around her.

Anyway, the point of this is, don’t put things off.

Do them today.

It is a cliche, but it is probably one of the few that shouldn’t be.

Don’t put off til tomorrow what you could do today.

Write that book. Climb that mountain. Run that marathon. Tell him you love him. Hug your kids. Go on that holiday. Get married. Watch the sunset over the Indian Ocean.

Whatever it is, just do it.

And enjoy it while you can.

Find the happiness and fun in every moment, that spoonful of sugar. Don’t go to bed angry. Use your energy for happiness and love, not hate. Be kind, to yourself and others. Be happy now.

You don’t know how many tomorrows you have.

And apparently, you don’t have to die for your time to be up.


Manifestation Magic: Part 2

This is an extension of my thoughts from Part 1, although not titled as such. I always knew there would be more. Considering what I am currently learning about manifestation, there will probably be a part 3!

In my previous post I spoke about the negative impacts of manifestation and how they can impact our lives just as much (if not more than) the positive. I am also happy to say that I am still manifesting like a magician, sometimes within 30 minutes. A short anecdote to this effect.

I was recently on a trip through Cambodia. I was with a tour group and totally excited to meet everyone. While getting ready for the meet-n-greet I had a thought – “I wish I had brought one of my smaller shoulder bags, just to carry my personals in. This backpack is going to get tiresome pretty quick! Oh well, I’m not buying another one so I’ll have to make do.” Then BAM! At the meet-n-greet the tour guide gives us all shoulder bags made by locals with traditional tartans on them! So amazing.

Ok, so now onto the deeper stuff… although that story perfectly illustrates my main point for this post. Synchronicity!!

I have recently come to the realisation that there are also another two sides to manifestation. Not only is there the positive/negative aspect of manifesting, but there is the giving/receiving aspect.

I’ll explain.

When we ask for something, say a shoulder bag, a new lounge or a new job, something has to happen. Things just don’t fall out of the sky. Someone has to actually give you these things.

My tour guide had to actually organise for the bags to be made and then bring them to the meeting. Someone had to say ‘I know someone who has a lounge they want to get rid of!’ Someone has to actually offer you the job, and maybe even lose theirs to make way for you!

An exchange takes place in all instances.

This then naturally flows into our own part in manifestation. Sometimes we have to give something to someone else. If we don’t do the giving, then manifestation doesn’t happen as quickly, if at all!

Another anecdote: one day I was walking home from the shops, grocery bag full of a few essential items. I can’t remember what exactly, but bread rolls was part of it. Maybe I was making burgers or something. Anyway, I came across a man who I assumed to be homeless. I had the strong urge to give him a couple of my bread rolls. I had 6, and only 4 patties (yes, I was making burgers, I remember now!) so I could in reality spare 2. However, I argued with myself over this urge – what if he isn’t actually homeless? What if I insult him with the offer? How can I assume anything? – and didn’t give the man the rolls. It would have been easily done, ‘hey mate, how are you? Are you hungry? Here have some rolls!’ Or conversely, ‘oh, you’re not homeless? I apologise, but I got this urge to give you some rolls. Would you like some anyway?’ The only thing that would have been hurt was my ego, which is probably why my ego talked me out of it.

In this scenario, to get us back to my part in manifestation, what if that man had asked the universe for some rolls? Or maybe food in general? What if my urge to give him the rolls was manifestation at work and I rationalised my way out of it? What if I was the person who was supposed to give him the rolls like the tour guide gave me the bag?

My point here is, that in manifestation there is always a giver and a receiver. Things don’t just fall out of think air, they don’t just appear. Someone always has to give you something or do something in order for manifestation to work – something I remember vaguely about the law of opposites or polarity or some such…


So, the next time you get an urge to do something for someone or give them something, just know this may be your part in the manifestation process and do it! I know I will! 😀


Honour your Shadow

Soul Doctor podcast strikes again!

I was listening to episode 1 of season 2 today and yet again, the messages where synchronistic for what I have already been thinking.

For years I have been reading positive affirmations online and hearing people say how they work for them.

Over the last few years I have had a different feeling about them.

I had come to agree with some other authors of various works that focussing on positivity too much redirects your attention away from the negative, in effect preventing us from truly dealing with it. We have triggers, programs and patterns for a reason, and they come up to be healed. Also, it prevents us truly knowing ourselves and loving ourselves unconditionally.

If we always redirect from the unpleasant emotions, we aren’t really releasing them. They are merely suppressed until they come out another way, through illness and dis-ease.

We have to honour our anger, sadness, grief, shame and all the other unpleasant emotions. We have to feel them to release them and truly move forward. We have to go through it, we can’t ignore it or cut it away and simply move on.

There is a lot to learn in our pain, especially about our own actions that lead to it. If we never face our crap, we can never heal it properly and will be destined to repeat the same patterns over and over again.

We cannot ignore our shadow, for it is our greatest teacher.


Book Review: The Naked Witch

I have recently been exploring Witchcraft again in earnest. It is probably the only path that resonates with my soul, that feels right.

Along the way I was reminded of Fiona Horne’s books. I checked the local libraries and found a few stocked her books, including a new autobiography called The Naked Witch. I didn’t really want to learn about her life, more about the practice of witchcraft in an effort to understand the practicalities of it – more on this later.

Still, I found myself compelled to go to the library that afternoon and borrow it. I can’t say I had any thought processes in this. It was just something I had to do. It’s weird when your intuition is so loud you can’t hear your own ego-monkey-mind!

And I am glad I did! Her story resonated with me on such a deep level, I found myself unable to put it down. For the first time in my life I read an entire book in a day! Luckily I had nowhere to be…

Her story so resonated with my own story of abuse on many levels it was uncanny. The resultant patterns and programs were almost identical too! I can’t say how reassuring it was for me to hear someone else went through something similar to me and came out thriving.

There wasn’t much on the actual practice of witchcraft, she has other books for that, but one main truth was made clear to me – at its fundamental level, Witchcraft is about a reverence for and connection to nature. Simple.

I am not going to go too much into the specifics of this book, as I feel it should be read with an open-mind. Also, spoilers! I hate ruining surprises for people…

If you are looking for an easy, yet informative read, then this is a great book. It is the perfect book for highlighting what our egos are capable of making us do, but also that an honest look at ourselves can help us to get out of its grip. It is an excellent book for anyone dealing with childhood trauma, especially for those who (like me) believe that ‘it could have been worse’. And yes, it could have been worse for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean our own pain and resultant negative patterns are any less important. We don’t have to down-play our own pain because someone ‘had it worse’.

This is the story of an average Australian woman just trying to find herself and her place in the world, after being told she doesn’t deserve one. The story of a woman desperately seeking the approval she never got growing up, and the realisations that lead her out of that destructive pattern. It is a story of growth and triumph that will empower you to do the same. It has done for me.


How I will stop moaning and start doing

I’ve just been watching a clip by Lee Harris, his April energy update, and in it he says that we need to stop moaning about the wrongs in this world and start finding solutions.

Ok, it wasn’t quite that blunt, but I have the right to paraphrase! This is what I took from it anyway.

So, what am I angry about this month? What am I moaning about this month?

That people don’t want to take responsibility for their pain, but rather blame others.

This one is a hard one because there isn’t much I can actually do. You can lead a horse to water, as the old saying goes. But, I can refuse to accept responsibility and remove myself from the situation. If I stop allowing myself to be someone’s scapegoat, then perhaps this will lead them on an inner journey of self discovery and healing when they no longer have anyone around to blame. Or, they’ll find someone else. Either way, what happens after isn’t my responsibility either.

My other option could be to start a healing business. I am a Reiki Master after all, and I have done a lot of work on myself so I have a lot of strategies that can help. But again, the horse analogy comes into play. On the other hand, if I build it, they will come, right?

That I am not living my purpose

This is a tricky one, because I’m not entirely sure what my purpose is. I know what I am passionate about – helping people move past their patterns and programs and becoming the best version of themselves – I am just not clear on the best way to do this. Is it through tarot and Numerology? Is it through energy healings? Is it through Mediumship? All of these things have helped me, as well as kinesiology, meditation, yoga and journaling, but I’m not qualified to offer advice on most of these.

So, I guess my only plan at the moment should be creating a plan. What can I do to help people? How can I best serve humanity? What are my strengths and how can I use them for my purpose? This one will take some further contemplation.

That people still haven’t realised how bad animal agriculture is for our health, the animals and the planet.

This is where activism comes in. I will write a post about this later, but I’m not sure my role is standing up holding banners outside of circuses or rodeos. I’m just too sensitive to energies for that kind of activity. My strengths are organisation and practical assistance, so perhaps my role is to help people organise protests, get permissions and check legal requirements, create banners for them and to organise people once they are there? Maybe it is simply to volunteer at festivals and fairs like the Alive festival? Maybe it is having conversations with people, planting the seed and leading them to documentaries and information about what is really going on? This way they will come to their own conclusions and make the decision themselves. It’s a kind of quiet activism, non-confrontational, yet just as powerful.

That people still think being a feminist is a bad thing

Luckily for me, a lot of this information has come in conversations with students at school. One student said that how feminists are getting their point across is abrasive and turning ordinary men against them. My response was that until you had experienced what women have experienced, you don’t really have a say in how they should respond. Not sure if he understood what I was trying to say, but I hope he at least came away with a better understanding of what the feminist movement is all about. Even yesterday, students were talking about feminism. It seems it is on the rise, but not in a good way. Perhaps my ‘planting the seed’ idea could work here too? Give them a different opinion and some resources and let them on their merry way. I can’t force people to see things from a different perspective, but I can give them another one and hope they open their minds.

So, it seems there is quite a bit I could be moaning about this month. There is probably a lot more too, I just haven’t sat with it long enough.

I do know this, nothing changes if you continue to do the same thing. In order to change your life you must first change your actions. So, here’s to change! Looks like there’s quite a bit coming for me.

What are you moaning about this month? What are some ways you could solve this problem?


What Happens in the Spirit World: Part 1

I have heard a lot of theories and rules about what happens when a person dies and what they can and can’t do.

As a budding medium and avid searcher of the spirit world, I have experienced and witnessed some things that have shown me that a lot of these rules are simply not true.

We humans have a tendency to apply human logic and reasoning onto everything, and it just doesn’t work for something that isn’t physical. This reasoning is quite normal and expected, considering our only experience (that we can remember) is of the physical. We would do good to remember that our earthly limitations can’t and don’t apply to the non-physical.

So, with this in mind, here are some of the rules I’ve heard and the experiences I’ve had that have shown me that aren’t always true:

  1. Spirits can’t come through to a medium or to me for (insert appropriate time period here). I have heard time frames of as little as 3 days up to 3 months! The truth is, there is no time in the spiritual world. As a side not, apparently quantum physicists have shown there is no such thing a linear time in the physical either, but that’s a different story. I have witnessed someone’s loved one come through to a platform medium even before they had passed. This person was elderly, had Alzheimer’s and was in and out of consciousness a lot. The validation was given, the person accepted what was being said and healing was achieved. So, the next time you go to say it will be 3 weeks before Uncle Frank can come visit, remember this – time only exists in the physical. As for ‘coming through to me’, they can and do send messages of love and survival to us from the moment they pass, we are just too grief stricken and often too busy to see it clearly. This, or we are wanting to see them standing before us and hear a booming voice. Maybe even throw some angel wings in there for good measure. The truth is, for me there is no booming voice, only subtle nudges. There is no physical representation of them, just images or animals I see in the physical. My Grandfather sent me a red rose just the other day. There it was, sitting calmly on my front lawn. I knew it was from him as I had asked for a sign and had established roses as his shortly after he passed as he loved his garden! So, the next time you wave that fly away from your head for the fifth time when it hasn’t bothered anyone else, the sixth time you see a butterfly on a winter’s day, or the 17th time someone says your loved one’s name in a day, don’t ignore it. Thank them, accept their love and know they are talking to you, regardless of how long it has been since they passed.
  2. Rules about what to do with the body. I have heard recently that you can not cremate a body until after 3 days to give the spirit time to leave the body. While waiting before you cremate the body might be important, I think it has more to do with a mourning period than the spirit. As far as I’m aware, the spirit leaves the body the moment it dies. Any ties left to the body will be individual to the spirit, especially if they were particularly proud of their body in the physical. I have heard time and time again, stories of people who have died suddenly or from some trauma, as in a car accident, leaving their body instantly, or even before the moment of impact. Any ties to the physical body were immediately broken. If you, or your loved ones, want to leave the body in tact for a certain period, just know it’s about your grieving process and honour that.
  3. I just need to see a medium or psychic to say what I never got the chance to say. Firstly, you need a medium, not a psychic. The two are totally different and the subject of a possible future post. Secondly, they can hear us, even those thoughts that we never verbalise. I have seen so many times loved ones come through with messages that relate directly to an unspoken conversation had by the person in the living. They hear us, we just can’t hear their reply. This leaves me to conclude that it is our own ego that needs to hear their reply, that needs to receive their forgiveness, that needs to hear them accept ours. Spirit knows all. Once a person dies, they understand things on a much broader scale, they can see things that we never could. They know the whole story, even if it is bad for them. Also, they are pure love now. Just speak to them, know they love and forgive us for our wrongs and let them and the situation go.
  4. They can’t come back once they’ve crossed into the light. I can blame shows like Ghost Whisperer for this one. True, spirits can and do become earth bound, but it’s not like they are punished after they cross into the light and can not come back. They are simply at a higher plane of existence. They are free to move between the planes at their leisure. Can they move to higher planes? I don’t know, but I have no evidence to say it isn’t possible, especially since I am aware of trying to put physical limitations on the non-physical world! Just know, that once your loved ones cross into the light, they will be free to come and go as they please!

This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I am sure I will hear more ‘rules’ as my own journey progresses. I have named this part 1 with this knowledge in mind.

Also remember, this is what is true for me based on personal experiences. Take what you will and leave the rest. Who knows, when I die I could be totally surprised! What I do know, is that our earthly restraints and constriction do not apply to the non-physical, therefore any logic that comes from the mind and not the heart is flawed and impeded by observations of the physical. The spirit world, and the universe as a whole, is only limited by our imaginations. So, let yourself imagine the possibilities, for it is in these quiet moments that spirit can get through with your truth.

If you have heard of any rules about spirit, please comment below! I’m always up for learning new things!


The Truth About Control

I used to think that being a control-freak was about deflecting the failure to control my inner world onto the outer world. That I could not control or accept my deepest feelings, so I ignored them and focused on gaining control in the external world.

I have since realised the exact opposite is true.

It was this inner control that was reflected in my being a control freak in the physical.

I had so much desire to have complete control over emotional expression, and that was what was reflected in my outer world. I had to control every aspect of my life, my emotions, feelings, external events. All of it.

Since allowing myself to release some of this control I have come to fully understand the second part of the saying “As above, so below. As within, so without”.

As I have allowed myself to surrender to all aspects of life, I have allowed myself to feel deep emotions and feelings, to accept myself as an emotional person, as well as the emotions themselves. This has lead to amazingly deep and fulfilling healing. Hard, but worth it.

I have also noticed that the more I delve into my inner world, the more relaxed I am in the outer.

Or perhaps, it is the opposite. The more I release control of my external world and realise that I have no control over the physical, the more my internal is able to bubble up to be dealt with. The more I realise I have no control other than the choices I make in the moment, I discover that I have the strength to face my issues and heal them through unconditional love and acceptance of what is.

Either way, I am now accepting my emotions and dealing with them, which in turn is allowing me to go with the flow more.

I am finding truth in the idea of strength in vulnerability.

Being vulnerable to your emotions is to allow life to flow and yourself to be in the present. This also encourages you to make decisions in the moment based on what is real, and not from your repressed pain or fear.

Attempting to control any aspect of your life is to stop the flow. It puts limitations on your potential. It keeps you stuck in past patterns and programs, doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

Being a control-freak is a sign of an intense internal battle, not a weak mind or heart.

As above, so below. As within, so without.


Why we need to stop saying ‘Spirit is telling me…’

People around me have always used the term ‘Spirit is telling me…’ (often it is ‘My Guides’, but it still amounts to the same thing.)

Whether it was to say something or to do something, people will often use the ‘Spirit is telling me’ line when doing so.

Even if it is telling someone something they know the other person doesn’t want to hear. ‘Spirit is telling me to tell you……’

This needs to stop and I’ll tell you why.

We need to take responsibility for our own lives. We were given free will for a reason and so many of us seem to have forgotten that.

Sure, Spirit might tell me to turn left instead of my usual right, but I have free will whether I choose to do so or not.

Spirit might tell us something about a person or a situation, but we need to stop and ask ourselves if we are willing to take the responsibility for the accompanying action or consequence. Whether we like it or not, our actions and words are our responsibility.

Spirit might tell you that your bestie’s new boyfriend isn’t the one, despite her loud proclamations to the contrary. Do you accept the responsibility for telling her? Do you accept the responsibility for what happens after you do? If not, then don’t say anything! It is her journey and she probably won’t listen to you anyway. I never did… It will more than likely result in little more than friction and built up tension between the two of you. Are you willing to accept that responsibility?

The fact is, what we say and do is 100% our responsibility. We ultimately choose to act on guidance or not. We need to hold ourselves accountable for our actions and words and not blame Spirit. They aren’t telling us to speak or to act, they just give guidance or advice. Like advice or guidance from another human, we can choose whether to act on it or not.

Often, I find people use this excuse to say something mean, which is obviously not coming from Spirit, their guides or even their higher selves, because these aspects of us would never tell us to say anything nasty or unkind.

Also, people often do the verbal conversation for show. The ‘oh, yea’ and the ‘I’m getting to that’ or whatever it comes out as. They talk to the sky above them as if hearing it from a seperate being.

To me, people who do these things are clearly in ego. Why else would they need to make a big show of communicating with Spirit? We can all do it, they aren’t any different or better or more special than us and there is nothing wrong with us if we don’t! (Ok, there is probably a bit of my own ego in this last bit and I am learning not to react to ego from my own ego, but apparently this is a process.)

My main point is this, stop putting accountability or responsibility for what you say and do onto Spirit. We have free will. Use it.


Practical Guide to Protecting Against Negative Energy

There is a lot of information out there on how to protect your energy from negativity, psychic attacks and the like.

What I notice is a lot of the practices require you to find a quiet place, centre yourself, take 10 deep breaths and basically go into a meditative state.

This is fine if you have plenty of spare time, but a lot of us don’t.

And they don’t always help in the moment.

Sure, you can white light bubble before you leave the house, but this only helps so far. Especially for us empaths, who always tend towards the open, helping kind of energy before we learn to shield it out. No amount of grounding, white light and crystals helped me when I would just go out and be ‘open’ anyway.

I had to learn this one very important lesson, as do many of us highly sensitive people.


You must be aware of what is happening inside of you at any given moment. You must be present in your own mind and heart so that when negative energy does come your way, you are aware of it.

Sometimes it is so very subtle and it builds quietly in the background like a peasant revolt. They quietly gather their forces, a person here and another two there, biding their time. All of a sudden they strike, and you have no clue who you are, where you are or what day it is.

Self-awareness allows you to recognise when the peasants are massing and take action before they get too powerful.

You can see the little negative thoughts or feelings and nip them in the bud before they can flower.

The ‘how’ is the interesting part. You don’t need to sit in a quiet place or meditate, burn sage, chant mantras or cover yourself in crystals. Unless you want to, and I often do. But these things don’t help in the moment.

Here are some things you can do ‘in the moment’ to stop the cloud growing:

1. White light bubble: yep, white light bubble. But, you don’t have to sit quietly anywhere. Just see the bubble around you and quickly visualise the negativity going back out, either to the source or the universe for healing. Your bubble doesn’t have to be white either. It can be gold, pink, green, even a tinted window, you know the ones that reflect the light? They kind of look like a hematite to me, but the purpose is to reflect the energy back.

2. Call on your guides, guardian angels, etc: They are always there, waiting to be of service. You don’t need to meditate to call on them, they are that reliable friend who never lets you down or cancels or goes on holiday. All you have to do is think ‘help’ and trust they will do what needs to be done.

3. Cutting cords: cords attach between us and other people all the time. Some only for a while, but with those particularly negative or needy people, they can stay and drain you of your life force. Luckily, there is an easy method to use to get rid of them! I simply visualise a giant, magical sword swinging down in front of and behind me, affirm that all unnecessary cords and attachments are now severed and ask my inner light to heal the etheric wound. You don’t need to go anywhere quiet or alone, just visualise this sword cutting the cords mid-conversation. You’ll probably have heaps of time to do this (it only takes a second!), because most negative people are only talking at you anyway. They will welcome the chance to continue talking. And you can let them, safe in the knowledge that you are protected.

These are three techniques that I use all the time. There are plenty of others you can do once the conversation is over, but these will help you in particularly potent negative energy and stop it growing.