Book Review: The Naked Witch

I have recently been exploring Witchcraft again in earnest. It is probably the only path that resonates with my soul, that feels right.

Along the way I was reminded of Fiona Horne’s books. I checked the local libraries and found a few stocked her books, including a new autobiography called The Naked Witch. I didn’t really want to learn about her life, more about the practice of witchcraft in an effort to understand the practicalities of it – more on this later.

Still, I found myself compelled to go to the library that afternoon and borrow it. I can’t say I had any thought processes in this. It was just something I had to do. It’s weird when your intuition is so loud you can’t hear your own ego-monkey-mind!

And I am glad I did! Her story resonated with me on such a deep level, I found myself unable to put it down. For the first time in my life I read an entire book in a day! Luckily I had nowhere to be…

Her story so resonated with my own story of abuse on many levels it was uncanny. The resultant patterns and programs were almost identical too! I can’t say how reassuring it was for me to hear someone else went through something similar to me and came out thriving.

There wasn’t much on the actual practice of witchcraft, she has other books for that, but one main truth was made clear to me – at its fundamental level, Witchcraft is about a reverence for and connection to nature. Simple.

I am not going to go too much into the specifics of this book, as I feel it should be read with an open-mind. Also, spoilers! I hate ruining surprises for people…

If you are looking for an easy, yet informative read, then this is a great book. It is the perfect book for highlighting what our egos are capable of making us do, but also that an honest look at ourselves can help us to get out of its grip. It is an excellent book for anyone dealing with childhood trauma, especially for those who (like me) believe that ‘it could have been worse’. And yes, it could have been worse for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean our own pain and resultant negative patterns are any less important. We don’t have to down-play our own pain because someone ‘had it worse’.

This is the story of an average Australian woman just trying to find herself and her place in the world, after being told she doesn’t deserve one. The story of a woman desperately seeking the approval she never got growing up, and the realisations that lead her out of that destructive pattern. It is a story of growth and triumph that will empower you to do the same. It has done for me.


What Happens in the Spirit World: Part 1

I have heard a lot of theories and rules about what happens when a person dies and what they can and can’t do.

As a budding medium and avid searcher of the spirit world, I have experienced and witnessed some things that have shown me that a lot of these rules are simply not true.

We humans have a tendency to apply human logic and reasoning onto everything, and it just doesn’t work for something that isn’t physical. This reasoning is quite normal and expected, considering our only experience (that we can remember) is of the physical. We would do good to remember that our earthly limitations can’t and don’t apply to the non-physical.

So, with this in mind, here are some of the rules I’ve heard and the experiences I’ve had that have shown me that aren’t always true:

  1. Spirits can’t come through to a medium or to me for (insert appropriate time period here). I have heard time frames of as little as 3 days up to 3 months! The truth is, there is no time in the spiritual world. As a side not, apparently quantum physicists have shown there is no such thing a linear time in the physical either, but that’s a different story. I have witnessed someone’s loved one come through to a platform medium even before they had passed. This person was elderly, had Alzheimer’s and was in and out of consciousness a lot. The validation was given, the person accepted what was being said and healing was achieved. So, the next time you go to say it will be 3 weeks before Uncle Frank can come visit, remember this – time only exists in the physical. As for ‘coming through to me’, they can and do send messages of love and survival to us from the moment they pass, we are just too grief stricken and often too busy to see it clearly. This, or we are wanting to see them standing before us and hear a booming voice. Maybe even throw some angel wings in there for good measure. The truth is, for me there is no booming voice, only subtle nudges. There is no physical representation of them, just images or animals I see in the physical. My Grandfather sent me a red rose just the other day. There it was, sitting calmly on my front lawn. I knew it was from him as I had asked for a sign and had established roses as his shortly after he passed as he loved his garden! So, the next time you wave that fly away from your head for the fifth time when it hasn’t bothered anyone else, the sixth time you see a butterfly on a winter’s day, or the 17th time someone says your loved one’s name in a day, don’t ignore it. Thank them, accept their love and know they are talking to you, regardless of how long it has been since they passed.
  2. Rules about what to do with the body. I have heard recently that you can not cremate a body until after 3 days to give the spirit time to leave the body. While waiting before you cremate the body might be important, I think it has more to do with a mourning period than the spirit. As far as I’m aware, the spirit leaves the body the moment it dies. Any ties left to the body will be individual to the spirit, especially if they were particularly proud of their body in the physical. I have heard time and time again, stories of people who have died suddenly or from some trauma, as in a car accident, leaving their body instantly, or even before the moment of impact. Any ties to the physical body were immediately broken. If you, or your loved ones, want to leave the body in tact for a certain period, just know it’s about your grieving process and honour that.
  3. I just need to see a medium or psychic to say what I never got the chance to say. Firstly, you need a medium, not a psychic. The two are totally different and the subject of a possible future post. Secondly, they can hear us, even those thoughts that we never verbalise. I have seen so many times loved ones come through with messages that relate directly to an unspoken conversation had by the person in the living. They hear us, we just can’t hear their reply. This leaves me to conclude that it is our own ego that needs to hear their reply, that needs to receive their forgiveness, that needs to hear them accept ours. Spirit knows all. Once a person dies, they understand things on a much broader scale, they can see things that we never could. They know the whole story, even if it is bad for them. Also, they are pure love now. Just speak to them, know they love and forgive us for our wrongs and let them and the situation go.
  4. They can’t come back once they’ve crossed into the light. I can blame shows like Ghost Whisperer for this one. True, spirits can and do become earth bound, but it’s not like they are punished after they cross into the light and can not come back. They are simply at a higher plane of existence. They are free to move between the planes at their leisure. Can they move to higher planes? I don’t know, but I have no evidence to say it isn’t possible, especially since I am aware of trying to put physical limitations on the non-physical world! Just know, that once your loved ones cross into the light, they will be free to come and go as they please!

This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I am sure I will hear more ‘rules’ as my own journey progresses. I have named this part 1 with this knowledge in mind.

Also remember, this is what is true for me based on personal experiences. Take what you will and leave the rest. Who knows, when I die I could be totally surprised! What I do know, is that our earthly restraints and constriction do not apply to the non-physical, therefore any logic that comes from the mind and not the heart is flawed and impeded by observations of the physical. The spirit world, and the universe as a whole, is only limited by our imaginations. So, let yourself imagine the possibilities, for it is in these quiet moments that spirit can get through with your truth.

If you have heard of any rules about spirit, please comment below! I’m always up for learning new things!

Spiritual Awakening

When Lessons Assimilate

Every day lately, something happens to show me just how far I’ve come. Things that used to trigger me don’t, and I realise just how much I’ve grown.

A situation happened just now, which has triggered this post (which you guys won’t read for a few days based on my own timing for posts and the back log I currently have!).

Driving to work, minding my own business and I decide to over take a slower driver. She wasn’t going much than 5ks slower than me, but I like to stick to the speed limit.

I overtake her in a calm and timely manner, wait a long distance in front of her then, change back into the left lane because I’m considerate like that (and there was some other impatient person right up my clacker, so I let them pass. I have no energy reserved for that fight!)

Next thing, she is now right up my clacker (there was a bit of a theme that morning) and overtaking me. She had sped up, going around 10ks over the speed limit just to overtake me. I can confidently assume that last part based on evidence, because after she had overtaken me she slowed down and we stayed virtually the same distance apart until the end of the Highway.

All I could do was laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

In the past, this would have eaten at me and eaten at me, until I was frustrated, anxious and mad. I had to show her how wrong she was, I had to prove to her that she was an idiot for thinking and acting the way she did. I would have had to overtake her again just to prove a point.

Today, I just laughed. I stayed calm and I let her go.

I know what it’s like to be that person. The one who has to prove how fast she is. The one who has to prove how good a driver she is. The one who has to always be in front.

I know what it’s like to be stuck in the controlling world of our own ego.

I know what it’s like to live life unconsciously.

Now, I have compassion for her and for people like this. Now, I understand that there are unconscious drives and motives that make people do certain things and act a certain way.

In the past, I might also have tried to overtake her to show her how silly she was. I would have been driven to accept the responsibility of teaching her or showing her what her own ego is doing to her.

Now, I understand that it’s not my job to show anyone another way, to force them to see it somehow, to teach them or to guide them out of their unconscious life, at least until they ask for it.

It is not my responsibility to help them grow past their own patterns and behaviours, and reflecting their own attitudes back to them certainly isn’t the best way. I no longer react to ego from my own ego.

So, I feel pretty good about life right now. I feel as if one major lesson has been learned and assimilated. I feel I am now one step closer to being my true self and being the example, whether they accept it or not.

Spiritual Awakening

Overcoming Victimhood

This personal growth thing is hard. We have to admit so much about ourselves that we don’t like. Oftentimes, when we do admit it, there is little we can do about it at that time. We have to sit by and watch as we continue to follow the programs and patterns, but fully conscious. It’s like that Stephen King story Autopsy Room Four, we’re undergoing an autopsy, completely aware and powerless to stop it.

Recently I had to admit a hard truth to myself. I played the victim.

Whenever something went wrong in my life my first thought would be ‘why are you doing this to me?’ No one was exempt from this, not even Spirit.

‘Why is this happening to me?’ ‘Why can’t I just get what I want?’ And to Spirit: ‘Why, if you’re oh-so-powerful, can’t you just give me what I want?’

It took me weeks of lower back pain for me to admit that I was playing the victim. I kept reading the lower back entry in Inna Segal’s book, but nothing resonated. Not of course until I was ready to admit it.

The next few weeks was the period Victor Oddo talks about where you are aware of what you are doing, but have no idea how to stop it. I can’t remember which clip it was now, as I’ve seen so many and taken notes for so few. I just remember him talking about the part of the awakening process where you are aware of your patterns, but unable to do anything about them. His loosely paraphrased advice was to just let them be. You are aware, which is more than most can say.

So, I let it be, which was probably the best thing I could ever have done. I had no idea how to break the victimhood mentality, and nothing I read came close to telling me what to do about it. So, I did nothing and remained aware of my thoughts and actions that aligned with this victim program.

Then the revelation came. Two events this year that told me that I had released the program and moved into unchartered territory. It still feels odd to me that I reacted to these situations in this way, but I know that’s my ego still trying to get traction.

The first was the first week of January. I had arrived at Krishna Village Yoga Retreat in Northern NSW, set up my tent and gone about my day, doing yoga, kirtan and their workshops. During one of the workshops it began to rain. I didn’t experience anything more than mild concern. Surely the tent was waterproof. Besides, I had set it up as I normally do, so it should be fine.

Well, it wasn’t. I got back to a partly soaked mattress and puddles on the floor.

I quickly realised I had not set up the tent properly, the outer tent was touching the inner layer: anyone who knows anything about tents and rain knew this was a bad mix. So, in the pouring rain, I set about fixing up the pegs and separating the two layers in the (vain) hope to stop it getting worse. By the time I finished this I was drenched and my hands and feet were doing that wrinkly thing that fascinated us so much as kids.

That night upon bedtime, I saw that water was still getting in, my bags were wet and the mattress was now completely soaked in one corner. Watching the water drip from the ceiling of the tent, I knew it was going to get worse before it got better.

I sat there and decided there was nothing I could do about the tent or the mattress at 9 o’clock at night, but there was somewhere I could sleep that was warm and dry. The rest I could deal with in the morning when the rain had stopped and reception had opened. I had to wait until 9.30 am to get answers, but I was able to get a good night’s sleep, dry my mattress and buy materials to prevent any further rain damage the next morning.

Instead of playing the victim and laying limp in the rain, I decided to find solutions. This was not happening to me, it was just happening and I had to find a solution. It, like so many other things in my life, wasn’t personal. It wasn’t about me at all. It just was.

The second thing happened about 3 weeks later. I got a phone call from my boss saying that the person I was replacing was coming back because his transfer fell through and my contract was no longer available. In one phone call my plans for this year had fallen apart. No more security. No more guaranteed Europe trip. My already booked Cambodia trip was now a bit more complicated. Gone.

This happens in teaching, and happened almost two years ago at another school for different reasons. When it happened last time, I began to stress and worry about what I was going to do to pay the bills. I was also really looking forward to teaching a set load and getting to know the kids on a personal level, building relationships and watching them grow. But now, I would be back to casual teaching, where you get to know many students, but not on a personal basis. You go in, ‘babysit’ them, you leave. Sure, you are still teaching, but you don’t get that emotional connection.

That time, I instantly fell into the spiral of the victim – why was this happening to me? Why can’t I get what I want? I will say it happened again later that year when it was week 10 of term 4 and I had no work for 2017. (It was the Wednesday of this week that I got the phone call for the job I got last year – talk about 11th hour!)

This time was different. Much like the Great Tent Fiasco of 2018 (yes, it is an event worthy of an endearing title!) I remained calm, at peace. I heard the news in shocked silence and accepted it. Even better, I began to laugh. I would think of it all afternoon and break out into deep belly laughs. It wasn’t hysterical laughter, I just found it funny. Spirit had thrown yet another curve ball in my direction. There was literally nothing I could do to fix this problem, I had to wait it out.

Like the rain, it wasn’t personal – things in the other person’s life hadn’t gone to their plan and now it was affecting me. I could let it upset my happy, or I could accept it and try to find a solution. I contacted another school I knew was looking for someone, but they had filled it only 2 days prior! This just added to the hilarity of the situation.

I think there are two things that helped me to overcome my victimhood mentality. The first is finally understanding that nothing in life is personal. People don’t go around doing things to us, they do them despite us. They are going to act a certain way, whether we are there or not. This is their program at play and it often has nothing to do with us. Things don’t happen to us either, the weather isn’t out to get us, as far as I know it isn’t even conscious! It just rains when it needs to rain, despite our plans.

The second is acceptance. It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson of acceptance. Accepting things as they are and for what they are. Eventually we might be able to change them, but first we have to accept that they exist.

I first had to accept that I was playing out a victim program before I could release it and move forward. First I had to accept that I had not been given what I wanted, regardless of how powerful Spirit is, there was a reason I had been steered in another direction. I just don’t know what it is yet.

And I don’t know what this year will hold yet either. I do know that I will get heaps of casual work. I do know that I will have more time to pursue other passions. Spirit has a plan.

I just don’t know what it is yet.

Spiritual Awakening

March Energy Update: a Southern Hemisphere Perspective

It’s sometimes hard for me in the Southern Hemisphere, when I watch YouTube clips about what is going on in the world, to apply it to us Down Under. Most of the clips I see are from people in the US and they often talk about the seasons and how this affects the energy. This puts me off a bit, because we are always back the front.

It gets me wondering about the validity of the information for us down here. If they are talking about going into Spring and the excitement about the impending Summer, how does that translate to us if we are going into Autumn?

This happened in the clip I watched yesterday morning. It was Victor Oddo’s March energy update and he immediately went on about the seasonal shifts for them. I wanted to turn it off then and there, but I decided to accept what my ego was telling me and listen instead to my higher self and watch on.

Turns out he had a lot of good information and this is how it applies to me:

  1. Creating your reality: I am actually doing this more. I am choosing to see things from a different perspective, accept that I don’t know the truths people are acting from and deciding to do what makes me happy. This is creating my reality. No longer am I bound by my ego’s impressions and perceptions of the world and it feels great!
  2. Learning lessons faster: this one I have already talked about, but it doesn’t seem to be stopping any time soon. Situations are now coming up thick and fast and I am getting the lessons quicker and quicker, it’s kind of overwhelming. I do need to spend a lot of time alone to ensure they assimilate and that I don’t get too overwhelmed. I have to allow myself a ‘time out’. That part is about self-care.
  3. Learning to be more compassionate and forgiving: definitely this one. And in the public school system, it is a must! Teenagers do a lot of things on impulse and lack of understanding and it is important to forgive them and be compassionate towards them, especially if they come from a certain demographic. A lot of people forget this and judge them too harshly, myself included in the past. But more generally, I am finding I am more aware that I have no idea what is going on in the lives of other people. As an empath, I do have to be careful of how close I get, but that doesn’t stop me from showing or having compassion for that person and holding space. This is definitely something that is happening right now.
  4. Opportunity to be a masterful manifester: this one I have also blogged about before and I am sure continues to happen, there’s just not a lot that I need right now! I am totally trusting that the universe will provide what I need. Though it is a powerful reminder to let things go. I still haven’t got my flights booked for Cambodia next month. I was starting to freak out a bit and see if I could borrow some money to buy them soon as I don’t want to pay thousands for them when I can book them. This I will now leave to Spirit to guide me to – some cheap flights with a direct flight one way and a long layover in Singapore the other way, at a time where I can get out and enjoy the town!
  5. Looking after you health: this one I think links to our health and the realisation of our own inner soul and the importance of looking after the vessel it’s in. This has also been on my mind. I have been experiencing some IBS symptoms for quite some time now and I have finally got the ball rolling to see what’s actually going on in there. I need this body to be healthy so I am at optimal capacity to do my work, what I came here to do. Now more than ever, I realise the importance of looking after this meat suit so that I can have a long and happy life, and also have more time on this earth to do the work I am here to do.

So, it seems it still fits perfectly. It will be interesting to see what happens closer to winter, as we truly start to wind down and the Northerners start to ramp up for Summer.

What I do know from this is that my ego is getting quieter and my higher/true self is becoming stronger. I could have stayed in my ego, turned the clip off and not learned what I have, but my higher self spoke louder and it paid off!

If you want to hear his words for yourself and see how they relate to you, please follow the link above. I haven’t had a look at other forecasts as yet, but feel free to add any links to people you resonate with on YouTube below! I am always happy to share the knowledge!

Namaste 🕉

Spiritual Awakening

The Holier-Than-Thou Effect: overcoming self-righteousness.

We’ve all been there. At least once. It usually comes from something we’ve learned about ourselves, the world or spirituality.

We understand immediately that not everyone else knows this, or comes close to seeing it, and some of us start to feel superior. As if we are part of a secret club that is separate from and better than everyone else. We start preaching to people about how this truth will change their lives.

For others, including myself, this feeling of separation leads to intense loneliness. In an attempt to overcome this, we start trying to help people by preaching our truth to them, hoping they too see what we see and come and join us.

This is what I call the Holier-than-thou Effect. The self-righteous behaviour and attitudes that are the result of feelings of separateness or superiority through our own personal growth and healing.

The main behaviour sees us preaching our ‘holier-than-thou’ truth to all and sundry. We see that other people are struggling and, out of a desire to help, start providing unsolicited advice about what they should do to help themselves.

This is the key, it is unsolicited. We take it upon ourselves to point out what we see about other people’s behaviours and attitudes and how they are blocking them from reaching their full potential.

And we value our advice. It came from years of experience. What better advice is there than from someone who has ‘been there, done that’?

But our advice falls on deaf ears. We become frustrated at our thwarted attempts to help these people. We question over and over why they can’t see what is plainly and clearly in front of them, sometimes within them. We don’t understand why they just don’t accept what we are telling them and commit to our suggestions for moving forward.

The truth is that what worked for us, and hopefully continues to do so, worked because we are who we are. It worked because we were ready to hear the message. It worked because we were ready to do the work.

What worked for us may not work for other people, because they come with their own unique set of programs, patterns and experiences. Reiki changed my life. That doesn’t guarantee that it will for my neighbour. Essential oils have helped me with so many physical and emotional issues. That doesn’t guarantee it will for my sister. Being vegan changed my life and allowed me to fully accept and love myself for who I am. That doesn’t mean it will for my best friend.

These things worked because they are igniting a part of who I am. They are tapping into my own individual soul’s vibration and unlocking the blocks to my own happiness. It is my own recipe for peace.

Someone else’s recipe might be kinesiology, nutrition, counselling, theta healing, crystals, angelic reiki, past life regression work, dance, Kundalini work, medication, art therapy, yoni massage, yoga, Zumba, chakra clearing… The list goes on.

What worked for us may not work for someone else.

Being self-righteous and preaching our truth to people who don’t want to or aren’t ready to listen only drives a bigger and bigger wedge between them and us. In some cases this wedge becomes that large we can no longer reach each other.

We must learn to wait until they come to us. We must be patient and compassionate with people who we know are clearly in need of healing. They must come to the path of their healing journey on their own. We must also accept that they may never be ready.

All we need to do is hold space for them when they are ready.

Spiritual Awakening

Veganism and Spiritual Awakening

I have recently celebrated my first vegan anniversary, my Veganniversary. It has and continues to be an interesting journey.

There were a few things I expected to change. I expected to shed kilos. I expected my palette to change over time. I expected to have more energy, although this last has been sporadic for reasons that will become clear shortly. I expected to experience better overall health.

Other things happened that I wasn’t expecting. The negative reactions to my choice. The amount of ‘assumptions’ I had about diet. That people continue to accept these assumptions, despite my best efforts to the contrary. The judgement both inside and outside of the vegan community.

Most of all I wasn’t expecting the spiritual side of me to gain momentum. I have been on a spiritual journey for at least 5 years, intentionally cultivating my skills and growing as a person. Not in all that time have I had such profound and fast changes inside of myself and with my skills.

These are some areas in my spiritual life that have changed in the last 12 months:

  1. Becoming more sensitive to energies and emotions: I have always been highly sensitive, an empath. I had just learned, through years of bullying and being told I’m too sensitive, to shut it down. Now, since removing animal products from my diet, it’s all flooding back to the surface. I am way more sensitive than I ever knew, which certainly brings its own challenges. Despite this, I feel that now I am filling my body with high energy foods, my channels have opened up further and I am becoming way more aware and sensitive to energies.
  2. Quicker Manifestation: Along with this comes the other amazing characteristics of a spiritually awakened life – manifestation. I am manifesting things so much quicker these days! Obviously the smaller the desire, the easier it is to come to you, but I am manifesting sometimes within hours! I am vibrating at a higher rate, which is allowing all the positive things I always wanted to come to me. They are now attracted to me, rather than being repelled.
  3. Accelerated Personal Growth: This is perhaps the negative or lesser known side of manifestation – manifesting situations that trigger your crap to be healed! When events or situations occur now though, I am getting the lessons quicker. This is allowing me to move forward at a much faster pace, which means the lessons also come quicker. My brain is not foggy anymore, so I can see my own patterns and behaviours much clearer. I have released so much this last 12 months, and as I continue to delve deeper into the onion of my inner self, I become stronger and stronger, able to deal with the really deep, traumatic stuff. This has lead to me being sick for most of the last 12 months and experiencing bouts of low motivation and fatigue. As I release the emotions, trauma or patterns there is a physiological reaction as the energy leaves, usually cold or flu like symptoms, headaches and general lethargy. Then I get a nice break for a few weeks where I am walking tall!
  4. Increased Intuition: My intuition has really kicked in, stronger than ever before. It is not being dampened by negative or lower energy foods, so it is able to get my attention more. I am still working on the habit of rationalising my nudges and learning to trust it, but I am able to hear it clearer in the first place and that’s a huge step for me.
  5. Deeper Meditations: I have been meditating for a few years now and have had some amazing experiences. None of them prepared me for what most often happens now. I don’t go anywhere or see anything much anymore, I used to go on some amazing adventures with dinosaurs and fairies and the like. Now, I mostly just sit in the energy and listen to the music. What is deeper is the change after I meditate. I immediately notice the change in my own energy, even after a short 15 minute meditation. Now that I am not clogging my body with low energy or processed foods, my meditations have a more profound effect on my energy, clearing away negativity and promoting higher increases in my vibration than ever before. I feel so much more calm and at peace after a meditation and I am totally grateful and happily surprised by this change.

I hope I have explained this last one effectively. All of these changes have lead me to a deeper connection to myself and Spirit, whether it be my guides, angels, deity or whatever the reality of Source actually is. I feel way more connected in general and I can only attribute it to the change in diet. Doreen Virtue talked years ago, in a book I can no longer remember the title to, about the negative effect of meat on your vibration, I just didn’t think it could be this amazing.

Please, if you have experienced similar or different changes, I would love to hear about them. 😁

Good luck and happy vibration raising!!


The Truth About Control

I used to think that being a control-freak was about deflecting the failure to control my inner world onto the outer world. That I could not control or accept my deepest feelings, so I ignored them and focused on gaining control in the external world.

I have since realised the exact opposite is true.

It was this inner control that was reflected in my being a control freak in the physical.

I had so much desire to have complete control over emotional expression, and that was what was reflected in my outer world. I had to control every aspect of my life, my emotions, feelings, external events. All of it.

Since allowing myself to release some of this control I have come to fully understand the second part of the saying “As above, so below. As within, so without”.

As I have allowed myself to surrender to all aspects of life, I have allowed myself to feel deep emotions and feelings, to accept myself as an emotional person, as well as the emotions themselves. This has lead to amazingly deep and fulfilling healing. Hard, but worth it.

I have also noticed that the more I delve into my inner world, the more relaxed I am in the outer.

Or perhaps, it is the opposite. The more I release control of my external world and realise that I have no control over the physical, the more my internal is able to bubble up to be dealt with. The more I realise I have no control other than the choices I make in the moment, I discover that I have the strength to face my issues and heal them through unconditional love and acceptance of what is.

Either way, I am now accepting my emotions and dealing with them, which in turn is allowing me to go with the flow more.

I am finding truth in the idea of strength in vulnerability.

Being vulnerable to your emotions is to allow life to flow and yourself to be in the present. This also encourages you to make decisions in the moment based on what is real, and not from your repressed pain or fear.

Attempting to control any aspect of your life is to stop the flow. It puts limitations on your potential. It keeps you stuck in past patterns and programs, doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

Being a control-freak is a sign of an intense internal battle, not a weak mind or heart.

As above, so below. As within, so without.


Why we need to stop saying ‘Spirit is telling me…’

People around me have always used the term ‘Spirit is telling me…’ (often it is ‘My Guides’, but it still amounts to the same thing.)

Whether it was to say something or to do something, people will often use the ‘Spirit is telling me’ line when doing so.

Even if it is telling someone something they know the other person doesn’t want to hear. ‘Spirit is telling me to tell you……’

This needs to stop and I’ll tell you why.

We need to take responsibility for our own lives. We were given free will for a reason and so many of us seem to have forgotten that.

Sure, Spirit might tell me to turn left instead of my usual right, but I have free will whether I choose to do so or not.

Spirit might tell us something about a person or a situation, but we need to stop and ask ourselves if we are willing to take the responsibility for the accompanying action or consequence. Whether we like it or not, our actions and words are our responsibility.

Spirit might tell you that your bestie’s new boyfriend isn’t the one, despite her loud proclamations to the contrary. Do you accept the responsibility for telling her? Do you accept the responsibility for what happens after you do? If not, then don’t say anything! It is her journey and she probably won’t listen to you anyway. I never did… It will more than likely result in little more than friction and built up tension between the two of you. Are you willing to accept that responsibility?

The fact is, what we say and do is 100% our responsibility. We ultimately choose to act on guidance or not. We need to hold ourselves accountable for our actions and words and not blame Spirit. They aren’t telling us to speak or to act, they just give guidance or advice. Like advice or guidance from another human, we can choose whether to act on it or not.

Often, I find people use this excuse to say something mean, which is obviously not coming from Spirit, their guides or even their higher selves, because these aspects of us would never tell us to say anything nasty or unkind.

Also, people often do the verbal conversation for show. The ‘oh, yea’ and the ‘I’m getting to that’ or whatever it comes out as. They talk to the sky above them as if hearing it from a seperate being.

To me, people who do these things are clearly in ego. Why else would they need to make a big show of communicating with Spirit? We can all do it, they aren’t any different or better or more special than us and there is nothing wrong with us if we don’t! (Ok, there is probably a bit of my own ego in this last bit and I am learning not to react to ego from my own ego, but apparently this is a process.)

My main point is this, stop putting accountability or responsibility for what you say and do onto Spirit. We have free will. Use it.

Spiritual Awakening

Personal Year Numbers: Numerology Update for 2018

Numerology is the study of numbers. Similar to Astrology, Numerology (using our birthdates and given names) gives us a snapshot of who we are, what lessons and challenges we are to face in our lives, as well as what to expect at a given point in time. This predictive aspect is shown through a variety of aspects of Numerology, such as peak and maturity cycles, however, I will focus today on our Personal Year Number.

Our Personal Year Number (PYN) gives us an understanding of what events and circumstances to expect in the year, as well as guidance about how best to deal with them. Is now the best time to change jobs or move house? Why am I losing all of my friends this year? What is driving this need for me to spend more time alone? Understanding our PYN gives us the answers to these questions and more.

How to find your PYN

Finding your PYN is easy. All you need is your birth date and the current year. Break these numbers down to their individual digit equivalents and then add them together until you get a single digit. If this is confusing, don’t worry, I’m about to break it down!!

The first thing to do is to find the World Year Number (WYN) by adding the numbers of the calendar year together. This gives us an idea of what is effecting or influencing the world as a whole. Next year will be a 2 year, because 2018 is broken down to its individual number equivalent and these are added together:

2 + 0 + 1 + 8 = 11.

1 + 1 = 2.

Some people include 11 and 22 as a WYN, but my experience has yet to back this theory up. I guess we will see what happens next year as it unfolds. In the meantime, I will work from the base 2 and take lots of notes!!

Next, take your birth day and month numbers and do the same thing, ensuring you add in the WYN as well. For example, if I was born on the 17th July 1987, I would take the day and month, break them down to their single digit equivalent and add them to the WYN as follows:

1 + 7 + 7 + 2 = 17.

1 + 7 = 8.

This person’s PYN is 8.

Now, before you go any further, add tours up and see what you get!!

A note on cycles

As we know, nothing in the physical is permanent, but exists in cycles of change. Like the moon, the sun, the seasons and the universe itself, there are distinct periods characterised by action or inertia, rest or activity, change and consolidation etc.

Our lives are no different. We will experience periods of intense motivation and drive to succeed, and we will do exactly that. At other times, we will put the same effort in, but achieve no results other than our own frustration. At other times, events and circumstances will be out of our control and we will experience many changes that we have no say over, such as losing jobs, relationships, friendships, loved ones, health etc. This is all a part of life.

Understanding where our current PYN sits in relation to this cycle will give us an idea of what to expect, and more importantly, what to do (or not to do).

From The Complete Book of Numerology by David A Phillips.

As you can see in the above graph, the years are grouped into what can be called the troughs and peaks, signifying periods of up and down or action and inaction, with slow progress and decline in between. Like a wave, the energy will rise until it peaks, then decline until it is at the trough. A more specific explanation is:

Peaks: Periods of intense growth, change and movement. A lot will be happening in these years and the key is to surrender to the change and adapt to the new. Key peak years are 9 & 1, with a mini-peak at 5 and into 6.

Troughs: are a time to rest and rejuvenate after the previous years of growth. We can’t be in action all of the time as we need time to assimilate what we have learned. Don’t expect too much progress during these years, simply enjoy the quiet. Key trough years are 4 & 7.

What do the numbers mean?

Now you know what your PYN is (hopefully!), it is important to understand what vibration this number brings with it. Is it a good time to save? Should I invest in property? Should I travel? The following information will help you to see what energetic influences are surrounding and guiding you, as well as some guidance about how to deal with them. As with all things, you have free will. Just remember that if you are trying to start something new in a 4 year, you might find it a bit difficult!


This a year characterised by new beginnings. A lot of things will have come to an end last year (PYN 9, see below), and this is the year where new, more exciting things will emerge. You might find yourself surrounded by new people, a new job, a new project or even a new understanding of life. Embrace these, let the old friendships and ideologies fall away and allow the changes to occur.

It is also a time where you become more self-confident, independent and settled in your individuality, especially if you take the time to break old habits and heal past patterns and behaviours that no longer serve you. Have the courage to fully step into your individuality, do things your way and let your true self shine.


This is a year for greater cooperation and balance. You have created new relationships in the past year and it is time to cultivate these, ensuring a balance of giving and receiving exists. Just as you cultivate your relationships with others, however, it is important to cultivate a positive, loving relationship with yourself. Be sure to give yourself time to heal the emotional issues of the past and learn to love and accept yourself to achieve this balance. This will lead to enhanced emotional stability and give you the tools to come from a place of loving action rather than passive reaction.

It is also a period of heightened spiritual development, where your intuition will be stronger than before. Be sure to listen when it speaks and act accordingly to avoid upset and disappointment. Adopting a regular meditation practice will give the two fold result of allowing you to tap into your intuition through the quiet, while giving yourself the opportunity to balance your emotions and gain much needed stability.


As we head to the trough, there is still much to learn about yourself and life. These early numbers in the cycle are all about the physical world and your understanding of it, who you are as a person and how you interact with others. This 3 year will give you the opportunity to express the new, authentic self you have discovered during the last few years of development through honest and open communication with others. This can take many forms, including written (journaling, songs, poems or blogs as was the case with me), painting, dancing, clothing, tattoos, verbal communication or any other way you choose to express yourself. Have the courage to be who you are now, allow the old patterns and programs to fully disappear and begin to communicate yourself in honesty and integrity.

It is also a period of heightened mental powers. You will have a thirst for knowledge that will only be quenched by taking up study of some kind or learning through the experience of travel. Find what topic excites and energises you and read or experience away! Choose a travel destination and look forward to the experience and what it can teach you! Just remember to not take on too much at one time as your energy will easily become scattered and you will not reap the full benefits. Choose one path and follow it for as long as it excites you or you are learning something.

You will also need to develop your memory throughout this period in order to fully understand and assimilate what you are learning. Also, having a good memory leads to increased self-confidence and self-esteem, and few of us don’t need more of that! So, keep notes or a journal of what you learn, keep a diary to organise your life and set a reminder to check the diary (I almost needed to do this a few times this year!), whatever it takes. Find your best expression for developing your memory and adopt it.

A final reminder for this year is to take time out for the simple things in life. Remember to have fun, allow time for humour, follow your happiness, surround yourself with bright company and celebration to avoid spiralling emotionally. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously this year. Lighten up and have fun.


This is a year of consolidation and rejuvenation. You have learned a lot in the last few years since the last trough (5 years to be exact!) and it is time to assimilate and consolidate your new understanding of life and yourself. It is a good time for planning for the future, but allow time for rest and relaxation to ensure your energy is fully charged for the changes to come. Avoid disharmony where possible, or at the very least schedule time for relaxation to unwind. Routine is a key aspect for the 4 vibration, so take the time to slow down and build yourself some boundaries to ensure you do not undo all the hard work of the previous years and become emotionally unstable or tense.

It is also a good time to focus on your finances and physical matters as the manifestation power of the 4 is strong. It will be steady progress, so be patient with yourself and take it one day at a time. Hard, persistent, determined work will bring desired results.

Do not expect too much change or growth in this year of consolidation and you will avoid disappointments.


This is the year you needed to conserve your energy for as it is a massive year of change, both expected and unexpected. Fighting it will only make matters worse, so try to go with the flow, adapt to the changes, surrendering to the divine intelligence of the universe and trusting that it will all work out in the end. Allow your adventurous side to develop for only the universe knows where you will end up! As with the 3, avoid taking on too many things at once as the obligations will cause you frustration as you strive for greater freedom.

It will also be a period of heightened psychic and spiritual awareness. Follow your intuition and learn to act on gut instinct when opportunities arise and surrender to the outcome. More importantly, BACK YOURSELF! Trust in your own ability to know what to do when the time comes.

Remember to release control of the physical matters you focused on last year. You have built a solid foundation from which you can now act upon. Take the time to focus on your creativity and build the life you desire.


This is a mini-peak where more focus will be invested in the home and relationships. It is a good time for the single people among us to find love. If you are already in a relationship, you will begin to take on greater responsibility in the home and domestic obligations after last year’s drive for freedom. Just remember to take time out to foster your creativity and reconnect to your authentic self to avoid emotional tension.

You might also find that issues in relationships (including both friendships and romantic) will arise during this year. Now is the perfect time to heal these issues and come to a resolution that best serves everyone. Aim for general harmony in relationships and avoid striving for right or wrong in conflict. Be prepared that this might mean some sacrifice is needed to find the middle ground. It could also lead to an ending of the relationship, but if this is what is best for all parties concerned, allow the change to take place. Either way, a new phase of the relationship will be achieved. Remember to have a high level of personal integrity and honesty throughout this year to ensure harmony in all dealings.


This trough year is another one of consolidation, but unlike the 4, it is focussed on the mental and spiritual aspects of life. It will be a time to stop and reflect on your life so far, the lessons you have learned and how far you’ve come in this life. Take time for quiet introspection and inner development. Be sure to spend as much time alone as you feel necessary to ensure you do not become too highly strung and stressed. Honour your need for solitude. It will be a time where the study of all types will help as you learn through experience, but specifically the study of philosophy will be of great benefit to you.

This year will also afford you the chance to yet again clean out your life of the things that no longer serve you, be it people, habits, behaviours, careers or anything else – if it no longer serves your highest good, adds value to your life or makes you happy, let it go. Be sure to take time out to carefully consider opportunities or large transactions that present during this period, making sure that you can and want to do what is being put forward.

Trying to force any major change this year could lead to loss. Be sure to take the time out to rest and rejuvenate, ready for the next phase of growth and expansion that is to come.


This is yet another year of rapid change where you will come out of the hermit phase of the 7 and begin to reap what you have sown in the last few years. If your attitude, efforts and intentions over the past few years have been positive, then you should expect positive results. If they have been less than favourable, January and February will be your last chance to turn your fortunes around.

It will be a year of increased independence and wisdom in the business arena, where you will be able to manifest abundance in money and property. Be sure to increase your focus on this aspect of your life to ensure you get the most out of this vibration.

This independence and wisdom can manifest in your spiritual life, depending on your level of development, so remember to listen to your intuition and back yourself. Take the time out to recognise how far you have come in this life and how much you have grown. You have increased universal support in the development of your personal power, so use it! Develop your assertiveness in the face of disempowering situations or authority figures and stand in your power.

You will have increased powers of manifestation, so be sure you are putting your efforts, intentions and thoughts only on the positive.


This is the year of endings that comes before the new beginnings of the 1. It will be a time of great upheaval as you experience many changes that are out of your control. Be optimistic and courageous during this period, surrendering to the higher intelligence and trusting that it will all work out in the end. You might experience endings in love, friendships, job, finances, home or health, just remember that something else will come to replace what you have lost. These events will often lead you to resolve long standing conflicts and issues with loved ones or within yourself, so face them head on with honesty and integrity to resolution. It is really clearing out what no longer serves you to make way for things that do. So, buckle up and enjoy the ride!

It is also a time of completion of projects. You set things in motion in either your 1 or 5 years, took time to reflect during your 7, finally saw the fruits of your labours in the 8 year, now it is time to tie up loose ends and prepare for the finale. This finale might simply be entering a new stage in the project, not necessarily an ending, but the transition is an ending in itself as you start to see your plans coming to fruition and things start falling into place.

This year might also see you thinking about life from a humanitarian perspective. You will have a drive to help your community and uplift the lives of others. Find what works for you and follow this drive. Your tolerance and understanding will also be heightened, perfect for dealing with global issues.

One final note about this year – don’t be too hasty spending money. It is not a year for financial gain. As an ending year, trying to start something new could lead to more disaster than you bargained for. Hold of for 12 months if you can. Otherwise, take the time to make sure all things are in order before entering into the deal.

Your number influenced by the WYN

As I said before, knowing the WYN in relation to your PYN will give you a deeper insight into what to expect.

2018 will be an 11/2 vibration. Working from the 2 vibration, this means that your PYN will be influenced by cooperation, intuition and emotions. For example, if you are in a PYN 9, expect your endings to be around emotions or relationships. You might be driven to work with others to promote humanitarian issues.

Personally, I am entering into an PYN 4, so I will expect to experience consolidation in my emotional state (finally achieving the stability I have been lacking of late!! Happy days!!!!), awareness of my intuition and relationships that have lasted through last year.

I won’t go through each number individually, just be aware of the 2 vibration that is underlying your own PYN to see the deeper, more subtle nuances of 2018. Be sure to read the explanation for the 2 above to help you make sense of it.

What to do now

Nothing. Except refer back to this post as many times as you need to remind yourself of what to do when things don’t go as expected. Surrender to what is, let go of the rest and enjoy the ride. Whether you are in a trough year of quiet solitude, or a peak year of change and action, the key to a relaxed and happy life is surrender. Accept what is and go with the flow.

A note on sources

I have read a few books and studied courses on Numerology, plus done readings that have helped to consolidate my understanding of each number vibration. The following are a list of books I have used frequently, especially in creating the information above. I would encourage anyone to find these books if you are interested in learning more about Numerology. I got these from Kindle, but I am sure they are available in hard copy if you prefer.

  1. David A. Phillips, The Complete Book of Numerology.
  2. Michelle Buchanan, The Numerology Guidebook.
  3. Clifford W. Cheasley and Melanie Becker, The Basics of Numerology.

I hope this will help guide you through next year and beyond. If you have any questions, feel free to comment below and I will be more than happy to help! I would love to hear your experiences, especially if these numbers help explain events of this last year!

Happy New Year!!